Couples Therapy in Los Angeles: Your Questions, Answered

Couples often wait a long time before trying therapy, sometimes years after problems begin. By then, resentment can feel entrenched and hope can feel thin. Couples therapy can help at almost any stage, including well before a crisis.

Here are answers to the questions we hear most often.

When should we start couples therapy?

Usually earlier than most people think. Common reasons couples come in include:

• The same fights keep happening, and nothing gets resolved

• You feel more like roommates than partners

• One of you feels chronically unheard, and the other feels chronically criticized

• Trust has been broken, through an affair or other betrayal

• A major transition is straining things: a new baby, a move, a diagnosis, a job loss, an empty nest

• Disagreements about big decisions, like having children, money, or where to live

• Differences in desire or intimacy

• You're getting married or moving in together and want a strong foundation

You don't need to be in crisis. Many couples find therapy most effective when they still have goodwill to work with.

What actually happens in couples therapy?

It depends on the approach, but most couples therapy involves both partners meeting together with a therapist, sometimes with occasional individual sessions. Early sessions usually focus on understanding your history, what's working, what isn't, and what each of you hopes for.

From there, the therapist helps you see the patterns underneath your conflicts. In many relationships, arguments about the dishes or the phone stand in for deeper fears, such as not mattering or being left. When couples can see and talk about those fears, conflict tends to soften.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most researched approaches to couples therapy. Built on attachment science, it views relationship distress as a sign that partners have lost their sense of emotional safety with each other. EFT helps couples identify the negative cycle they get stuck in, such as one partner pursuing and the other withdrawing, and gradually replace it with more open, responsive ways of connecting. Research on EFT has found that a majority of couples show meaningful improvement.

What if my partner won't come?

This is common. Sometimes a partner is hesitant because they fear being blamed, or they don't believe therapy works. It can help to describe it as working on the relationship together rather than fixing one person. If your partner still won't come, individual therapy focused on your relationship can help you understand your part in the dynamic and change how you respond, which often shifts the relationship too.

Is couples therapy just for married, straight couples?

No. Couples therapy is for any two people in a committed relationship: dating, engaged, married, LGBTQ+, polyamorous, long-distance, or co-parenting after separation. A good couples therapist works with the relationship you actually have.

Can couples therapy help after an affair?

Yes. Affair recovery is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. It's painful, slow work, but many couples do rebuild trust, and some find their relationship becomes more honest than it was before. Therapy can also help couples who ultimately decide to separate do so with less damage.

How do I choose a couples therapist?

Look for someone with specific training in couples therapy, not just individual therapy. Ask about their approach, whether that's EFT, the Gottman Method, or another model, and how they handle situations where partners have different goals. Most importantly, both of you should feel the therapist is fair and doesn't take sides.

How much does it cost?

Couples sessions in Los Angeles often run $175 to $300 or more, and sometimes longer sessions are recommended. Insurance coverage for couples therapy is limited, since insurers usually require a diagnosis for one partner. At Therapia, cash-pay sessions start at $150 an hour, and the practice is in network with UnitedHealthcare/Optum, so many clients simply pay their copay, typically $20 to $40 a session. Most PPO plans also cover therapy, and out-of-network clients can request a superbill for potential reimbursement.

Couples therapy at Therapia Psychotherapy Group

Therapia Psychotherapy Group in Beverly Hills specializes in relationships, attachment, divorce, and heartbreak. Our clinicians work with couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy to help partners break painful cycles and reconnect. Sessions are available in person or by secure video anywhere in California.

If your relationship feels stuck, Therapia offers a free 15-minute consultation to match you with a couples therapist who fits.